Summer

Summer is a break in the action. Whether it be an ocean, a lake, or just my own swimming pool – something about summer is like breathing in fresh life.  Perhaps part of this effect is due the interruption in the ‘normal’ routine.  My wife, Ann, would be the first to tell you that ‘normal’ and ‘routine’ aren’t my strengths.   Because of that, we’ve had to learn to talk – a lot! – in order to keep our marriage in good shape.  This summer we spent several days reading a book together, on a dock, on a lake in the Adirondack Mountains of New York.  The book stimulated great discussion about the ways we grew up, the kinds of messages we tell ourselves (deep, deep down inside), and the ways we ‘do’ our marriage.  We had great times laughing, shedding a few tears, and renewing our attraction for one another.

Summer can often provide more free time and more opportunity to focus on relationships. Fortunately, ‘summer’ in relationships doesn’t have to come only during the three months between May and September.  We can create summers in our relationships throughout the year.  I hope this summer brought new perspective for you and your partner, but if not, take time in the next couple weeks to find time to be together—and do something to help you think in new ways about how you ‘do’ your relationship.  How can you think in new ways?  Read a book, watch a provocative film, visit a new state or country, go to a political discussion—it doesn’t matter so much what you do, as it does that you do it together, and talk about it, and let it move you out of your relationship comfort zone!